When Sugar isn’t Sweet!

We were working a homicide.

The crime scene had long since been processed. The deceased was in the morgue. We have our suspect or perp in jail.

All was right with the world.

Except the paperwork.

A standing joke in Law Enforcement circles is your job will be 95% boredom, 4% paperwork, and 1% sheer terror. Depending on the day, that can fluctuate. Today there was no terror, no chance to be bored, and a 100% paperwork.

Today, we (myself, the Sheriff, and two detectives plus a special agent from the Colorado Bureau of Investigations) are sitting around the table. In front of is a stack of pictures, sketches, reports, statements, and general paperwork. We were checking and double checking each. Our mission is to put this all into a coherent mess so we can get our perp charged.

It was a warm day in July, and paperwork can be thirsty work. I had a little time, so I got up from the table and went into the kitchen. Meals were prepared for the jail side of the house there. But we were in and out of it to get coffee and so on.

I got a metal pitcher and filled it with ice and water. I got two packets of Kool-Aid and poured them into the pitcher. Lastly, I added the required 2 cups of sugar from the large container. Getting paper cups, I went carried it all back in where we were working. Being the nice guy I am, I poured us each a cup and passed them around. The pitcher went on a desk next to us.

We got back to work.

A minute later, the Sheriff picked up his cup. He took a sip, and spit it out all over the paperwork, the wall and each one of us.

He had a look on his face. He stands, looks at me, and all but bellowed, “What in the hell is wrong with you!”

Perplexed, I took a sip. My aim was better. I at least spat it back into the cup.

Instead of two cups of sugar, I’d put in two cups of salt.