Bat Warfare

I intended to talk about the third novel, Broken People in this weeks posting.

Instead, it’s taken a back seat to an epic battle between me and eerie looking wild creatures.

It started Sunday morning. Julie and I start every day, sitting on our chairs that look like they were stolen from Sherlock Holme’s apartment, drinking coffee and just talking. I’d gone to the bathroom earlier and thought I’d heard something. Of course I chalked it up to a squirrel on the roof.

I went back to my coffee and was sitting there and suddenly I saw a shadow fly across the room. I must have got a look on my face, because Julie asks, “What’s wrong?”

She thought I was having a heart attack.

“There’s something in the room,” I said.

At first, I thought it was small bird and it was frightened and looking for a way out. It veered towards us and started flying around the room. The way it flew I knew it was a bat. It panicked me. My wife. The Fancy Dog, but not Shadow (who we call Vampire dog). He slept through the whole thing.

Actually, panicking was the one thing we shouldn’t have done. It’s already scared in an alien environment and screams and shouts don’t help it or us any. But I did know that the things I didn’t want to do were to try and swat it out of the air or try to grab it with my bare hands.

The only thing handy to grab it with was the blanket the dog sleeps on. After several failed attempts on my part to get it to fly into the blanket, the thing seemed to vanish into thin air. That might have worked if life was a Hammer horror film, but thing just don’t disappear in the real world. This is a bat. They’re maneuverable and fast and had probably seen and taken advantage to find a place to try to hide.

I began looking around. After a minute, I saw some motion on the corner of Julie’s Dresser. I saw a small creature, maybe the size of a mouse clinging to the corner. Using the blanket, I caught it, took it outside and released it into the yard. It flew off with dazzling speed, but the bright sunlight caused it some disorientation. It flew several large arcs as if it were trying to decide what to do and then dived into a pine tree across the road.

End of problem.

Or so I thought.

Two days later, another bat showed up in our bedroom.

It panicked my wife, me, Fancy dog, but not the Vampire Dog (again, he slept right through it). This time, I had the dogs’ blanket and as the bat came at me, I threw the blanket up in the air, the bat flew into it, and I captured it. Quickly I secured the makeshift bag and went to take it outside to release it.

I walked to the end of the sidewalk, opened the blanket, and nothing was inside.

Somehow, it had gotten out and I could only hope it was after I stepped out of the house. I walked around inside the house, but no bat was to be found. The problem is there’s hundreds of places one could hide.

Last night, it showed up again, only this time on the first floor. We were watching an Episode of Reba before going upstairs to go to bed. I’d made numerous sweeps through the house but never saw it. Of course, there’s only about eight million places something the size of small mouse can hide. But I can’t look behind a television mounted to a wall with bookshelves on both sides and that seems to be where it had been.

I never saw it come out of hiding and I have no idea why it chose that second to do so. But it did.

My wife screamed, Fancy barked, I blinked in surprise, and Vampire slept. I was at a disadvantage. I had no idea where it was, where it had gone, and I went looking around the house trying to locate it.

It had never left the family room. I’d grabbed the towel we use to dry the dogs when it’s wet out, and when Julie yelled it was still in the living room, I rushed back in. I saw it twirl and somersault through the air and then vanish yet again. I had no idea where it had disappeared to.

Julie has better eyes than I do, and she said, “It disappeared near the fireplace.”

I looked at the brick and wood that made it up. Nothing obvious. I looked at the old gun we hung on it, the stove, behind the wood, and as I straightened, some motion caught my eye.

The little creature was crawling slowly up the brick. Had it stayed still, I’d probably would never have noticed it. Using the towel, I was careful to catch it, hold it so it couldn’t get away, and then took it outside. Once again, I went to the end of the driveway and released it. The bat fell out the towel and I thought I’d injured it at first. But then it took off like a rocket, did a barrel roll to nail a moth, and vanished into the dark.

We’ve lived in this house for coming up on twenty-five years and never had anything like this happen. We know bats are around. We see them flying about at dusk. But one has never come into the house.

At first, we thought one had come into the house by accident. When we let the dogs out, we often times leave the sliding screen door closed. Shadow (AKA, the Vampire Dog) knows how to open it with his paws, and he’ll come in. While the windows between when he opens it and we close it is usually short, there is enough time for something to come in if you aren’t watching.

But two bats in as many days?

We went looking to figure out where they came in from. Both bats (and I assume bats three and two are the same bat, an assumption on my part since it wasn’t in the blanket, it might have gotten lose downstairs) showed up in our bedroom. At first, I was afraid They’d come though the AC system which is vented through the ceiling. All I needed was an opening in the duct system.

But since they showed up there first, it was logical they came in from there or nearby.

Then Julie walked into our bathroom and noticed something I hadn’t. During the Spring, I’d replaced the vent fan. The cover was hanging down just a little. She bet me that’s how they got in. I looked and sure enough. This fan was enclosed in another box, one that was put in when the house was built, there was a half inch gab between the box and the drywall. This gave the bats just enough space to squeeze through allowing them to get in since the cover didn’t fit just right.

Fixing it was easy enough. Since the fan cover was hanging down (a result of the new stuff not exactly fitting the old), I got my trustee cordless Black and Decker (thank God for Black and Decker), a small drill bit, two small anchors and screws. It took about three minutes work to get the cover on so it stayed tight against the ceiling.

Happy to report we’ve been bat free for 48 hours.

During all this, I learned I wasn’t the Lone Ranger. More than a few people have stated they got bats in their living quarters.

Now, the question becomes, why were the bats were coming in. I’m sure I know how they got into the attic, but why they’re coming into the house is because of the heat we’ve been experiencing here on the Front Range. For the last several weeks, if the temperature hasn’t been over a hundred, it’s been close.

Bats don’t like the heat any more than we do and are seeking someplace cooler. While the attic (and I’m sure they’ve been up there for a long time, is usually okay), the heat this year must put it into the upper one fifties. They find the crack where there’s cooler air and try to follow it. It’s a simple attempt at survival on their part.

Now, I could just go up there and seal the hole. That would probably seal any bats in the attic in and the heat would soon kill them. I don’t like the idea of dead bats in my attic. Besides, in most places, bats are protected and rightfully so. Despite being a lot on the creepy side (a trait not helped at all by Dracula and Halloween), they form a vital link in the ecology. They eat bugs and keep the numbers of mosquitos and the like down. They.re rather inoffensive creatures and tend to mind their own business.

Before sealing it up the hole, I want to give them the chance to get out first. I’ve purchased what’s called a bat door. The construction lets them out, but the way it’s designed, restricts their coming back in. I’ve also purchased a couple of electronic devices that will be placed in the attic. Supposedly, they generate a sound Bats don’t like and they leave.

According to some research I did, you can also toss moth balls into the attic also. They give off a smell the bats don’t like, and they get away from it. So, with these tactical weapons in hand, I should be able to clear up my Bat problem.

After a few days of letting things run, I will seal the hole and hopefully that will be that.