Throwing up. It’s good for you!

I used to be a pipe smoker.

“Used to” is the operative words here, and you’ll understand why.

But I remember that pipe well. It was purchased at the drug store right across from the college. It looked like it was carved, had a curved stem and use filters. The first pack of pipe tobacco was whiskey flavored.

And I kept right on smoking my pipe for years. When I was with the Sheriff’s Office, JR and I used to smoke pipes or cigars. We thought we were pretty cool.

And then I started getting an idea of how much it cost me for this habit. I started buying my tobacco at a men’s clothing store in Alamosa called El Cid’s. My personal favorite was a dark tobacco called Private Reserve. We used to get paid once a month at the Sheriff’s Office. And every pay day, I purchased ten

one-pound buckets of tobacco. Oh, the cost? Fifteen bucks a bucket in 1980 money. And when you make seven hundred dollars a month, that’s an expensive habit.

And chances were I’d be buying cheap stuff towards the end of the month because I was out.

But God, it tasted and smelled great.

Years went by and I went into the Army. The military was already frowning on smoking among the ranks, but that didn’t bother me. I continued to smoke good tobacco. I recall one of the girls in the unit saying, “A guy who smokes a pipe has more class in his little finger than most guys have in their entire being.”

Nope. No reason to quit there.

And then one day it happened.

I went out to the smoking section on the company pad and joined everyone else who was lighting up.

I took out my pipe, charged it, and put it in my mouth. I always carried wooden matches to light it. I took one out of the box, struck it, and put it to the tobacco in the bowl.

I took a puff.

And threw up.

Yeah, very classy!

That was over forty years ago.

And I’ve never had a desire to pick it up again.